The Gores divorce: was it the Global Warming?

After 40 years of marriage Al Gore and Tipper Gore decide to separate. Reasons? Nobody knows. But usually if it is the man who decides to split after a long period is because of another lady. If it is the woman to call it quits is usually because she is tired of putting up with "stuff".  While the motives are not clear yet, the divorce seems to be amicable:

Email from Al and Tipper Gore

“We are announcing today that after a great deal of thought and discussion, we have decided to separate.

“This is very much a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration. We ask for respect for our privacy and that of our family, and we do not intend to comment further.”

 This is the way they decided to tell a news agency. Ironically the Clintons are still together, but of course, that one is an open marriage and more like a  business partnership than a relationship. The Gores have three daughters and a son, who is the only one giving them troubles as every now and then he is arrested for carrying marijuana in his pockets.

Apparently both Al Gore and the wife went into periods of depression, but they always sticked together. So what happened now? Sometimes you hope that there are still couples somewhere who don't divorce. Leaving alone the ones that don't divorce as it is not economically convenient. Sometimes getting married too early might represent a problem. The couple might grow up taking different paths or simply, what seemed good in high school or college doesn't look so good anymore. But after four decades that should not be an issue. 


Maybe it was the Global Warming? Or Mr. Bush? Probably not. And even if you don't believe in Global Warming, Al Gore was right in raising attention and consciousness on our mistreated and sick planet.     


 Photo: The Gores pose in Halloween costumes on October 31st 1999. (They show a big sense of humor)

No city- No sex- little style

..only product placement. The joke that is going around lately says that the G spot of a woman is the last letter of the word shoppinG. That might be true but in this Sex and the City 2 there is neither orgasm nor laugh. The poor women look a bit ridiculous. Samantha has turned into an horny old spinster, Charlotte  into a desperate housewife who is intimidated by her nanny, who looks like somebody out of a bad spoof of American Pie. Carrie is simply boring and whiny, plus her Flashdance and like-a-virgin Madonna looks are frankly embarrassing.

The first 50 minutes are tedious, trite jokes and mundane dialogue. Where is the old brilliant screenplay? The gay wedding looks like a Med Club on Love Boat and when you think that the worst is over there she is, an exhumed Liza Minnelli singing. The Abu Dhabi scenes are the only sustainable ones, if we forgive Carrie for dressing up as she were at New York's fashion week while nobody told her that she is shopping in a humble local market instead. The only refreshing 30 seconds are when Penelope Cruz appears on screen, finally an actress. In the last half an hour you must stick some toothpicks on your eyes as in Clockwork Orange to stay awake. Two hours and a half are too much for this born bad sequel. Tell your girlfriends to pick up another movie for the weekend.


    

Pulp Friction

Denise went out to play volleyball with her friends, the day was bright and she felt suffocated at home.

Her mom was worse than a painful wart, making her life miserable. She was sneaking behind doors to eavesdrop on her conversations with her schoolmates, she was peeking at her cell phone, she was trying to control her life.  Denise felt suffocated and she was sure that her mom was the cause of her recent asthma and allergies, her skin rashes and shortness of breath.

Her dad was useless. When she complained about her mom's habit of sneaking in her room to check into her bags ("You never know nowadays with all these drugs", she used to say) he told her that she should appreciate her mom's love and dedication, that she was a very ungrateful daughter.

Her mom would judge all her girlfriends, one was shallow and with a goose brain, another too flashy and trashy and she was sure that sooner or later she would have ended up raped or in a Turkish brothel.  The ones who, in her opinion, were a suitable company, were the ones looking like Ugly Betty or the school geeks, with a soft spot for the ones wearing thick glasses. The year before she had a date with a boy from school and her mom made a big fuss about him not being suitable and good enough for her. Apparently she already knew everything about his family and background, from the street address to his father's profession. Even something unsuitable for young ears about his mom.

Sometimes she wondered if in her early days her mom was a private detective, or maybe a secret service agent. There was no way to trick her or go around her. One time her parents left for a brief vacation and she invited a friend over without telling them. Her friend stayed for two nights and after she left Denise cleaned everything, changed bedsheets and checked the house one hundred times before her parents returned home. Half an hour later her mom, with a gargoyle look in her eyes, shouted at her : "Denise Maria Anne (when she was angry her mom used all her names) you better tell me NOW who was here this weekend". Denise widened her eyes and shriek in agony "Nobody was here mom!". She denied and denied, but her mom didn't buy it. "I know somebody was here" she said. "How can you be so sure mom?" cried Denise, feeling bluffed. Well, the mystery was  revealed after a few days. By her dad, since her mom would never give away her secrets. Apparently it was the toilet paper. Her mom saw that the toilet paper roll in the guest room bathroom was thinner than when she last checked before leaving. And she knew that Denise never used that bathroom. How can you ever win against Sherlock Holmes' most talented apprentice?

On that sunny day she was playing carefree with her pals, enjoying the warm late spring weather. In the middle of the game Denise saw her mom approaching them. She frowned as her mom said: "Denise honey, sorry if I interrupt the game. I'll be very brief, I only wanted to warn you that Sabrina, remember Sabrina? She has a son more or less your age, kind of handsome but apparently a bit dumb. Anyway, I ran into her today and.." " MOM! We are playing!" "Ok sorry my sweet darling little bird, I'll be short. What was I saying? Ah, sure, Sabrina told me that her son got very sick, he sneezes, coughs, he got watery eyes and even a weird itch in his private parts." " MOM!" "Ok, sorry, I'll get to the point. Sabrina thinks that he probably got sick running through the park, you know, Oak Park. He is allergic to plants and other stuff too, a bit like you. So, when you come back home please, be sure to go through the gas station instead if you don't want to get sick too. Must be the oaks, or maybe those new trees that they planted two years ago." "MOM!" "All right my dear, off I go, have a great game and remember that you have to call granny Lisa when you get home". Denise nodded and ran off.

After the game she chatted with her friends for hours, when she suddenly remembered  about the essay due the day after. She waved a quick goodbye to her pals and started to walk back home. She remembered that her mom told her something about which way to get. But what it was she could not recall. Something about a guy...his private parts...Her mom was weird. Maybe that is what happens in menopause. But lately she was able to train her ears to just shut off when her mom talked to her. After all she decided to take the route through the gas station as it was already dark. But as soon as she approached the station she realized that something strange was going on.

Men shouting, moving fast, from the gas station to a van parked just outside the little food mart. They held guns. One was covered in blood. They probably just robbed the market and killed the guy behind the counter. She froze, standing still, trying to think fast about an alternative way or a place where to hide. But they saw her. It was too late to do anything else but turn around and run in the hope that they would let her go. It was like she had eyes behind her back, she could feel their heavy breathing and she knew that they were going to kill her. Her brief life started to pass before her, her family, her friends. It was quick, a loud noise and then a sharp pain in her spine and she was down. She hit the cement and banged her head on the pavement. She heard the men running back to their van, tires peeling out. She couldn't move and she knew she was dying. While she looked at the small puddle of blood coming out from her head mixing with a second puddle coming from her back, a smile crossed her face.

This time her mom had been wrong. She finally remember her mom's advice. "Don't go through the park". If she would have remembered her advice she would have gone through the park just to piss her off.  And by now she would be safe and sound at home. The irony of it all!